Karen’s Journal: A woman we’ve been supporting for years has decided to share her diary with us

Recently, we asked one of the women we support to keep a diary and to share its contents with us and our supporters.

Karen – not her real name – agreed and has just handed us her first effort.

She has been coming to see us for a few years now and we are supporting her in a number of ways.

Now in her early-40s, Karen’s health has suffered over the years, principally as a result of historic drug and alcohol use.

She takes us through a typical week, from the high of an afternoon she spent eating scones with jam and cream with her dad to the lows of  living with alcohol cravings and near-constant physical pain.

We’re hoping she’ll continue to offer this insight into her life.

Monday

Got woken up by the nurses again this morning. 

Then, the tablet regime. God, the amount of pain meds I take. I look like I robbed a pharmacy.

My Turning Point prescriber was amazed about how many meds I’m on. She reckons I should be out cold.

I get 112 pre-Gabs tablets at a time (Note: Pregabalin is used to treat nerve pain). The gear-heads would love these.

Don’t really know what to do today. I’m in a weird mood this evening.

I’m craving a beer so bad. Think I’m going to take my meds and go to sleep.

I’ll try and make it to bed this evening instead of sleeping in my armchair.”

Tuesday

Had a productive morning. Nurses have put my legs in compression bandages.

The left leg was hurting too much though, so that lasted all of 20 minutes because I took it off because of the pain.

I’m getting so fat. None of my clothes fit me now.

Going to New Futures soon to see Della at drop-in.

About to go to bed. Tablet time.

Wednesday

S***, it’s 6.30pm. Nurses will be annoyed when they come, but they know what I’m like now.

My friend G is cooking us some dinner now.

I’ve realised I don’t do much each day. Must sort it out.

Going to bed early as I’m seeing my dad tomorrow.

Thursday

Nurses woke me up this morning. Good job really as I want to see my dad.

Had to leave bowls under two leaks in the ceiling. Council wind me up.

Spent an hour being told I can’t report emergency repairs on the phone anymore. Idiots.

Well, 48 hours they said. We’ll see.

Dad loved his afternoon – it was tea and scones with jam and cream.

He is so vague now. It kills me seeing him like this.

Friday

Woke up to go to the chemist and felt so s*** with pain.

Taking meds and going back to bed. Can’t deal with the pain.

Saturday

These bloody drips, they’re driving me crazy. It’s just drip, drip, drip, drip….

So much for the council coming – and I missed the nurses again today. 

I’m in too much pain to go to the chemist. Staying in bed.

Bless him, G made me dinner and tea and toast.

Binge-watching Top Boy on Netflix.

Sunday

Wish I had gone to the chemist yesterday. I feel like s***.

Going to binge-watch some more Top Boy.

My mum is back in hospital. I love her so much. I wish I could do something.

Still craving a beer.

Contact The New Futures Project on 0116 251 0803 or send us a message at: info@new-futures.org.uk

You can find us at 71 London Road, Leicester, LE2 0PE.

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